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Post by rocinante on Jun 24, 2006 21:57:29 GMT 1
Tom!
Ben!
Both of you go and shave RIGHT NOW!
Okok, you've both shaved. Great. Now the race is on. Who will be the first to grow a fucking formidable beard? Don't shave for a while, we must know who's the best out of the pair of you. It's a competition of puberty, or something. A competition of facial hair!
I'm taking bets, you know.
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Post by Ben on Jun 24, 2006 22:05:52 GMT 1
Tom will win. It's a very well known fact that I cannot grow proper facial hair. It comes in clumps. I would lose, most horrifically.
It's also well known that growing a beard is needed to attain the indie look, since girls will go "ew, that guy with a beard is fugly, but I bet he'd look good if he shaved it off", and hence when shaving the beard off, the girls jump on him.
Voila. La donna e mobile!
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Post by rocinante on Jun 24, 2006 22:50:27 GMT 1
I'd like to say to someone "you'll be first against the wall when the revolution comes" but I can't find anyone to say it to.
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Post by Ben on Jun 24, 2006 23:42:23 GMT 1
(edited for decency)
AHAHA. I AM SO FUNNY. I WET MY PANTS I AM THAT FUNNY.
(only two people in the world will know how funny this is, and alex didn't find it funny...)
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Post by pinkegokane on Jun 24, 2006 23:46:41 GMT 1
you're a cunt  |
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Post by rocinante on Jun 24, 2006 23:47:43 GMT 1
I'll wet YOUR pants...using charm, seduction and The Private Press.
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Post by Chris on Jun 25, 2006 1:02:21 GMT 1
I just wet my pants...  |
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Post by Arron on Jun 30, 2006 10:52:42 GMT 1
Is this happening? Are you having a judge? what are the categories of judging these so called beards?
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Post by Tom on Jun 30, 2006 11:26:18 GMT 1
Hmmm, I'm not sure this is such a great competition. Not only will it probably take months for me to grow any kind of beard, I'll look stupid in the process...
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Post by Simon on Jun 30, 2006 12:45:15 GMT 1
that's why it's a great idea!
it'll be FUUUUUNY!!
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Post by dozyjulia on Jun 30, 2006 13:45:39 GMT 1
I'll judge!
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Post by rocinante on Jul 3, 2006 9:26:36 GMT 1
IT HAS ALREADY BEGUN.
*EYES LEFT*
*EYES RIGHT*
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Post by Arron on Jul 3, 2006 16:28:38 GMT 1
HAI! (in the words of Banzai)
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Post by rocinante on Jul 3, 2006 23:37:15 GMT 1
*quiet, mild mannered commentary, in the style of The Stare Out Championship finals*
And....progress is slow in this game. A lot of people are focusing on the chin areas of our...contestants...very little focus on the upper lip at this stage of the...proceedings....oh....nice use of a....mirror there by...uh...Tom. Ben doesn't appear to be taking the bait...he seems to be using a...is that? Yes, a COMPUTER SCREEN, to check his...reflection. Oh! Here come the hands. Now, a lot of people ask us..."just what is the point of this part of the game?". WELL. The point is, that...um, well, they're trying to gauge the smoothness of the face. Notice the up and down motion...as often, stubble flows downwards rather than the...erm, upwards....manner. They have to make sure. Sometimes this is a very...sombre moment for opponents...they often enjoy feeling each other's faces...and that's probably.........PROBABLY why....these guys are using their...um, tongues. Tongues, I'm guessing, are more sensitive than hands....and they leave a nice residue that can actually, um, encourage facial hair growth.....if you tuned in to watch The Simpsons, well, I'm sorry to say that events here are taking much longer than...anticipated. But for the sake of facial hair...this really IS an exciting match...we're maintaining our live coverage until we get a result...
....
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Post by Ben on Jul 4, 2006 0:24:07 GMT 1
:S
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mcv
When I Argue I See Shapes
Posts: 630
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Post by mcv on Jul 4, 2006 13:53:31 GMT 1
i think we could do with weekly photo updates
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Post by Tom on Jul 7, 2006 15:38:52 GMT 1
Well apparently I won, seeing as Ben had a shave, but then I had one earlier, so I guess it's a bit of a fucked up competition.
Nice commentry though El!
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Post by rocinante on Jul 8, 2006 22:31:22 GMT 1
I don't know, I've never seen Tom and Ben in the same room. I'm convinced that they're the same person. This whole competition was a sham.
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Post by Arron on Jul 10, 2006 14:00:40 GMT 1
It was your competition though? Are you creating false competitions for the sake of good televison man! This must be stopped-I secretly think its a front for pie terrorism.
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Post by rocinante on Jul 10, 2006 22:51:30 GMT 1
But everything's a front for pie terrorism. If you download music from the internet, buy pirate videos/DVDs/games, partake in online facial hair competitions, allow your life to collapse around you, buy drugs under the counter, pose an action figure in a compromising position, glower at a modem, catch a snowflake on your tongue, stack coins in order of size, wear headphones as fashion accessories, attempt to get along with your step-siblings and step-parents in an attempt to make things easier for everyone, lose your car keys, abuse semantics, make a list of your favourite memories of a certain person, update your live journal, leave positive feedback on ebay, laugh at clunky old technology, watch Paramount Comedy at 2.00PM for the Frasier double bill, make the fatal error of looking at the wrong eye of someone who has a lazy eye, receive a text message, use an emoticon to express genuine feelings, choke on red wine, read through old journal/diary entries, breathe in deeply, think about beaches, speak French, save someone from jail, think metaphysically, use ellipses, discharge, buy a beanbag, feel your leg vibrate, take a bath, watch clouds drift by, draw a picture of The Secret Witch, recommend a brain scan to a friend, mourn, bruise your rist with an orange using percussive strikes, write a song, nostalge, think about someone that makes you happy, fall asleep in the afternoon, read, play one chord for fifteen minutes, consider taking another bath, feel any kind of emotion, fool your family into thinking that you're unhappy when you're really just feeling pensive and wistful, console at a distance, sigh, leave indelible marks on family life, deal with things, fantasise about DVD boxsets, use American spellings, listen to more than three hours of music in one day, take an interest in meteorology, rely upon blind faith, muse over which sense you'd miss the most, use the future tense, say something you regret, distill some grapes, gasp, deploy a metaphor, stalk someone, grind your teeth, lose yourself in thought, take a risk, list vocations/occupations to a therapist, clear your throat, repeat yourself, leave a room because you cannot stand that which is on TV, wince at text talk, dream in neon, hyperventilate, alienate, utilise internal rhyme schemes and masticate you're funding pie terrorism. How does it make you feel?
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Post by pinkegokane on Jul 10, 2006 23:13:58 GMT 1
make the fatal error of looking at the wrong eye of someone who has a lazy eye
bruise your rist with an orange using percussive strikes
you just made me inhale my cocktail involuntarily XD
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Post by Arron on Jul 11, 2006 17:55:09 GMT 1
you just made me inhale my cocktail involuntarily XD PIE TERRORIST! I'm glad just breathing isn't on that list, as long as I dont breathe deeply i should be fine. |
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Post by rocinante on Jul 11, 2006 22:21:37 GMT 1
*taken aback*
Am I to understand that you think there's something WRONG with Pie Terrorism?
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Post by Tom on Jul 12, 2006 16:19:26 GMT 1
Pie terrorism is quite amazing. Don't dis the pie!
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thom
I Can Have It All
...came and went like icebergs...
Posts: 945
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Post by thom on Jul 13, 2006 9:02:08 GMT 1
speaking of all things of a fad nature, having been away (from the forum) for a month i do not know what what happened to raaa...
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